the navigations are the first 4 "pictures" from the left
I Wish,I wish with all my heart,
For you to hear my very thought.
Wishes for you to love my very being.
And be with me through this eternity.
profile
By yuukineko, shot with W910i at 2008-10-28
i'm15 going 16
next 13 nov.
Goes by the name of simin.
Ppl call me Yuuki
or Yuukineko.
Goes to CBSS. cosplays Loves Jubeat and Nx Pump It Up~
is anti-social
Hates being around people
unless is close close friends
Doesnt feel like being happy at all
****** *** **** *******
If you have to,which i hope you dont have to. tan_simin2004@hotmail.com
Current groups
Kuroshitsuji team 2010 Vampire knight team 2009 Air gear team 2009 Upcomings~
Junjou romantica photoshoot Vampire knight photoshoot Air gear [ringo-akito/agito] photoshoot Air gear [kaito-akito/agito] photoshoot Planning~
Loveless photoshoot
Kuroshitsuji Photoshoot
Junjou romantica group 2010
Shugo chara team 2010
~Hates~
#flirts
#act act ppls
#liars
#cheaters
#ppl hu make use of others
#backstabbers
#some certain ppls E.g ki tat.
[If You know him,please tell him i hate him.thanks^_^]
~Wishes~
~~To Be A Vampire!
~~Love
~~kisses and hugs...
~~yuuki cross costume..
~~rukia costume...
~~Rukia's real zanpakto!!
~~Agito/Akito wanijima costume,wig and skates
~~Ciel phantomhive dress version costume
~~Amu hinamori school uniform
~~misaki and shinobu wig
~~Lotsa money to buy my cosplay...
~~my whole family to understand me and listen to me...
~~a brand new computer!
~~Samsung F480
~~a new new me....
~~new knife blade
im damn bored can...D= so i went to find the H1N1 video...
its stupid funny and tells alot=.= so watch it and laugh your head off... hmmx..recently,kenneth and the rest ahve been saying lots of things..and its irritating one lor..=.= call and kup call and kup..=.= haiz...you want know...you will know.in due time.=.= unless you gonna stalk me..then i got nothing to say...0_0 anyways..damn bored right now can..D=
Friday, June 26, 2009
I have totally nothings to post about anymore. not in the mood to post any stupid things. i will kill myself if i post anything emo. so im gonna emo for a while and let this place be.. there is alot of things going thru my life right now and i need a damn break from everything. no arcade or lan for hours le. i need a time out. before i go crazy.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
since i am so bored right now,im gonna post up FAIL pictures~ lalalas~~ picture credits goes to failblog.org
Monday, June 22, 2009
today is one of the most boring days of my holidays...i woke up.eat.sat down and SA-ed the whole day....o.o... since im so bored.i shall make kenneth happy by posting up yaoi pictures..=D yes..i love yaoi..but i dont want to really see yaoi..i just like the mangas and anime yaoi.. please do not yaoi in front of me... unless....never mind..=X This is from the manga 'love neko' it has a really nice storyline.. its sci-fi and fantasy.and of cos yaoi. kenneth!! i dare you to read this! and this is some random yaoi pic i found..o.0....from a BL game called 'absolute obedience' anways..im really bored to death.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
i woke up at 12 today cos i got drunk ytd...x.x haiz...sian..then my dad brought me and mum go pomo to eat. we ate juju hokkiado hot pot!XD we ordered by themes.. dad took chicken and pork.mum took beef and i took fish platter. this is fish platter..and it is HUGE.it consist of one WHOLE fish and 4 other types of fish slices. lookie at the fish~ see the plates??its HUGE... fish platter~~i regret ordering it..its too bog to be eaten by me..im too small sized..x.x the beef platter!!! this was AWESOME. anways..then after we ate this we had a drink as a before dessert thing. its some kinda plum juice thing and it was really really sour..D= i was jumping around...=X ohoh! the appetizers was damn cool too..we had a hard boiled egg with only hard boiled eggwhite. the yolk was still creamy=X then the soya souce was sweet..for once..0.0 i love the dessert too~~ its honey dew sago~~ actually i just love anything that is sweet.. but i cant help wondering why dad suddenly talk to me...o.o... anways..im debating right now if i should go virtual or not... argh..no one ask me go..so i guess i wont go...=X but i wanna play SA....my house..the comp....lagging!!T.T haiz....sian sian sian..should i?or should i not?
Friday, June 19, 2009
today was freaking dumb. anways..seriously having problems with my family. at times i feel like killing every single one of them at time i want to just stab myself and die. most of the time,i jsut wish i could disappear. my family just blames everytihng on me. they have their affair outside. and they blame the fact that they dont love each other. the blame it on me.ME...its their own fault and they blame me. i was told to tell them where i would go. i called and told my mum. my mum screamed and said she didnt care. i told my dad and he said he doesnt want to know. then i dont tell them and they blame me. said it was my fault i didnt care about the family or them. you said you didnt care. so i didnt too. you dont love each other and thats my fault too? why did you even bother to have me in the first damn place? if this is what you say to me, it just tells me you dont even want me around. this just sucks. i think,i just think too much. and i emoed a little today. not very sure if kenneth they all saw thru. hope they think i was just tired or something. i have to put on a happy face. i dont want to make anyone else affected by what im feeling. its just selfish.to spoil other people's day cos of myself. so i went out in the afternoon with alex cos he said it was fun to go taka..o.o.. lols..we went there.stone.eat.stone.walk.then go woodlands liao.. i had cotton candy!! and its super nice!^-^ its like big and fluffly! and Pink!!XD and it sorta melts in my mouth..so its really cool and nice! then met kenneth and potato to play technika. i had another game and its still damn awesome to play it.. but i still failed...>.< then kenneth kept talking about me and alex being tgt all the time..=.= we arent k? i dont like him. we met for the how many times..2nd?=.= wth... i think kenneth asked me why i stopped poking him. and i think he forgot ytd he asked me to stop poking him.. but since you want me to poke you.i shall=D anyways~ we went to amk to eat. alex went home then i went with kenneth and potato to nebo eat.. kenneth was like tempting me with the food la..cos i no money..do i only drank the stupid drink which taste like soap.=.= then rhyn came then we all go virtual. kenneth sat down play and rhyn pursuaded us go arcade. then we play liao go back virtual. met kenneth on the way and he and potato went home. then rhyn send me home so TADA~ here i am typing this emo and stupid piece of shit.=.=.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
today finally got to watch a movie!=D okies..its just a movie but still...It Was Fun!~^-^ supposed to meet at 3.30pm at virtual..but i was late.. cos.i realise some problems with my family. shall not talk or dwell on it. its my problem to deal with. anyways=D i was late for half an hour...im sry bout that..but not really that sry cos evreyone was playing game..no difference late or not..=X then i also sat down and played sa damn happy cos for once i killed 5 before i died=D i know kenneth more pro la but still me damn happy=D then after that we went to hub to get tickets for the movie Drag Me To Hell its a really awesome movie except that it had ALOT of very disgusting parts in it..x.x and really scary ones too..o.o not like ghost scary..its like..quiet quiet then suddenly got this old lady POP out. i just got really scared and screamed..i think i screamed ALOT...=X not to mention i cried eat alot too..then we went to arcade to play and kenneth went to show off play NX...till now i see him play still damn cool...*in awe* he is very pro can! =D then we went to virtual...i go see them play L4D=X it was fun while it lasted cos they got tired of it and played dota and sa... while in the lift..alex and his bro damn funny. they walk in,turn,stare at mirror and say 'no lor' totally tgt. cool right?=D then watch watch watch liao we go home lorx..o.o. i got no photos this time=X sianz...i want a pic of alex and his bro!=D
--edit-- on the way home with alex i poke,pinch,scratch him till his hands damn red..=X sry...>.< but it was fun
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Today was so fun!XD okies..technically...all we did[we=kenneth,potato,peng kuan de bro,kenneth de friend and me] was stay at causeway to play djmax technika.we went at 2.30pm..[for once i was the earliest] and stayed till like 7.. i finally got to play the game!! although i still failed the last song..its freaking awesome!=D so fun!!!!XD then we went to eat at the food court there. i realise peng kuan brother damn fun to poke..got ALOT of reaction from him..unlike kenneth..=.= no reaction at all de lor.. then the two of them bully me..T.T take my phone..pass here pass there...T.T i shall find kenneth's weakness one day! i already know peng kuan brother de liao..XD its pokes!! then we came back to amk play lan..we all played an hour of SA... we all got trashed by kenneth lor..3 vs 1 still he trash us...knife match as well..0.0.. he is Too Pro..=.= then we arrange to watch movie tmr!! i cant wait!=X anways..then on the way home..i took the same bus as peng kuan de bro i poke him till he almost fell off..8D damn fun to poke..XD bwahahax... anways..somemore random photos i took today~ i seem to catch alot of peng kuan de bro right?? he always just stone there de..XD unlike kenneth lor..siam siam siam de..x.x orhs..someone tell me peng kuan bro de name..=.=
-EDITS- oh yea...his name is alex...o.o and i almost poked him to death ..XD
Monday, June 15, 2009
Recently,i feel so much things all at the same time. And this feelings are gonna kill me.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
yoo!! first i want post ytd de stuffies..XD i had ALOT of fun ytd!!! actually..is kenneth and yk who had alot of fun...=X i had fun watching them have fun..XD we actually went all the way to causeway to play djmax technika. it is a freaking awesome game.. play djmax technika! rmb to!!!its AWESOME! then on our way up..i kept comparing heights with alvin yk and kenneth.. no matter what..on which step...in still shorter then everyone..T.T stupid tall people....*sobs* we actually spent 3hrs+- at the arcade there..kenneth and yk playing technika while i watch them play..XD although i never play..its still fun to watch...its so cool to play with a touch screen..its like jubeat.. expect its not restricted by boxes..or fixed..its the whole freaking screen can be touched!8D i shall play it the next time i get a chance to go there..8D oh..then we went to have dinner at 10..pm...XD at asian cafe..XD and while i was there i took some epic photos..XD this is yk...i think..i dont know..i call him potato.. coz i talk to him..he only say 'or' to me..so i call him potato..=X this is 'nebo drink spilling specialist' alvin!XD kenneth! lols..it took me a VERY VERY long time to get this photo...x.x i love candid photos..=D anyways..next post on today's streetfest!
STREETFEST
anways..streetfest was dubbed as sweatfest..cos it was outdoors and it was freaking hot.. so everyone brought a fan..i did too..but i lost mine..cos they pass pass pass till dont know where...-.- i cosplayed akito/agito wanijima again..and i regretted..it was soooo damn hot!! my bindings are like so thick!! plus the jacket is totally like an OVEN!! and it wasraining and the floor was sooooo wet that i had trouble skating!!!!DX i cannot belive i survived the day!! then everyone was taking me and ringo's photos...and i was so tired!!DX now i at home...saw the photos..and hear people say that im cute and innocent.. i do not belive im anything like that at all...=.=''' then i went for strut with ringo too..XD it was fun la..but very very very scary..cos it was sort of like a compi..but not really like one too...XD so yea..fun!XD i lost a litte weight too..8D lols..spam more photos..XD spam spam spam~~ orhs..found some stupid photos i took in lan..XD i love epic expressions..XD
Friday, June 12, 2009
guess what?ytd go lan play sa...then nice nice my first multi kill..5 ppl in a row.... guess what... i timed out..o.o. nice nice...just got the kills...x.x stupid comp..just a few seconds more end game liao..had to time out...damn it....x.x.... pissed....but never mind..was fun bulying rhyn and the rest..XD hahax....gonna go causeway ltr with kenneth and dont know who liao..XD banzai!! lols..-.-
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
today was stupid..and i waste ALOT of money today..now i owe alot of money too..x.x.. must remember to return alvin and teckhui money...=X today morning as usaul got lessons..then after that i went arcade with rhyn... played and played and played till no money..then ate kfc with him before he went home... then i went back arcade play.. then went to lan to play sudden attack...8D very fun..i played with kenneth,sotong,spy,teckhui and one more guy whos name i know not..=X super fun la..XD shall go there and play next time..=X im really really happy lorx ..today was fun!!=D i was sitiing right at the side..so when i timed out..i took a photo of kenneth teckhui and the other guy playing SA....all the really epic expressions...=X right at the left is teckhui followed by kenneth and then the unknown guy who is pro at SA...=D actually..only me and teckhui are noobs...x.xthe rest all damn pro.. kenneth actually played one round 3vs1..him against the other 3 guys... and he actually won...0.0.. but i had my fill of killing him too..8D i just choing and luan spam...=X he bully lor....x.x.... so i try my best to bully back..=D but i think i failed too..DX never mind..still got next time de.... shall go sleep... got lessons tmr..x.x
Sunday, June 07, 2009
it hurts it hurts alot. i just dont get it. why cant i just stop this feelings? it hurts alot to love you. or in fact to love anyone. how i wish i can just give my all in loving you. how i wish i can love you unconditionally. see no one else but you. have an unfaltering heart for no one but you. i know that wont happen with me. it will never happen. cos i have never had someone,who had ever really loved me before. how i wish i can experience love for once. i never actually had any.now that i look back. its all just puppy love. no one ever wanted me. im around just so that they can make use of me. once they are done with me. they throw me away. im nothing more then a toy to them to use as they please. to throw when they please. being used is better then being ignored. but it just hurts too much. you want company,so you asked me out. then now that you got other friends. you ignore me. do you know how much this hurts? maybe you dont know. maybe it was unintentional. i want to convince myself that thats the case. but how hard it is right now.. people ask me for help on this. i do my best to put on a smile. i do my best to give advice. i did my best for this people whom i call my friends. but helping you guys just hurts me. it makes me jealous to see you walking together. how i yearn for the same. i just want someone whom i can love without fear. in turn i want to be loved. even if its just a little love. how i wish to be like the couples. able to love freely. and in turn be loved. whats wrong with asking for someone to love me? i just dont get it. i rather be able to love someone whole heartedly then love someone with a faltering heart. not knowing when my heart ceases to love that person. its just too scary. i want to force myself to love someone with all my heart. but its just not possible. if it is..i would not have turned out like this right now. i cant take this. i want you. but you dont want me the same way. i just cant stop my tears from flowing anymore. i cant stop myself from crying. how i wish i could just die and end this all right now. just die and this hurt would just go away. i cant take it anymore. i wish for death right now. i cant stop my tears from flowing anymore.
Friday, June 05, 2009
i have never been cherished. never. the people i had put close to my heart. they all left. they left without a backwards glance. nothing of theirs is left behind. except for the painful memories. i seem to have lost the need to hold someone close. i realise. i dont mind being alone. even though it hurts to be,even now. i dont mind. since no one would cherish me. it cant be helped. no one would hold me. no one would protect me anymore. everyone left me. i can no longer form bonds with people. even if i called you my friend. i realise,even if you left me without a second thought. i dont care anymore. i cant say it wont hurt. but it just doesnt hurt as much as it use to. maybe im just learning to be strong. or maybe my heart is just too numb from all this. i broke the promise not to cry anymore. all just because of one person. and now i feel,with the start of the drops of tears. it seemed to melt the darkness and pain. i seem to be able to smile a little more now. i thought it would be a good thing but all it did was make me feel more pain. the tears just striped away the layers of hurt which protected me before. the tiny prickling pain gave way to stabbing pain. crying really doesnt help. but i cant help it but cry. what else can i do? i did all that i could i changed. i acted. i lied. i told the truth. i became a totally different person. none of this helped. even though friends told me this. they said they would like it better if i did all this. and in the end. you all just left me. i would be lying if i said it didnt hurt. i aint telling the truth when i said i didnt cry. i want friends. but i enjoy the loneliness. how ironic.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
i want to live in a bubble. a bubble where reality cant reach me. even though thats not possible. i wish it could be. reality sucks. life sucks. and then you die. what a life.
If you dont like me. just get over it and tell me.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
why does this feeling keep going through me? you are within reach, yet i could not bear to reach out and grab you. you are so near, yet i dont dare to take another one more step closer... i feel frustrated,sad,happy all at the same time. frustrated because i dont have the guts to reach out to you. sad because i cant have time with you. happy because i get to catch even just a glimpse of you. i just dont get it. didnt i promise myself not to love anyone. its really not worth it. i should stop all this stupid worthless feelings. but i just cant. i wonder why. maybe i just dont want to. although i may say so. my heart thinks otherwise. you are so near. yet far. with one more step i could have reached you. yet i could not. why is this so?
im emo emo emo emo. so fuck off. i seriously cant take this. this sucks.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
i dont want to do this anymore. this hurts too much. i didnt know loving anyone..could hurt so very much.. or maybe,i had just forgotten how painful it had been. the icy stabbing of your actions and words. it makes me breathless. the spot where my heart is. its feels as if a knife had really been plunged through it. the pain feels real. i cant take it. the words you speak, the actions you do, it all leaves me bleeding and hurt. it makes me gasp for air. makes me feel like im drowning. the tightness around my chest just wont let go. its feels as if you want to kill me with just your words alone. its so scary. i'm afraid. what if, i really drowned? will you be there to save me? will anyone be there. my family doesnt care about me. they never did. my friends, arent even friends. everyone whom i know and talk to, in the end, just leaves me when i need a hand. all they do is to make use of me. for their own gain. what about you? i doubt you even care about me. im just a thing. a thing you play with when you are bored. am i right to say this? when you find something more worth your time, you throw me out into the rain. i still hope. i still hope that you would take me back. i still hope you would find a little more use of me. just so i can spend more time with you. but i doubt so. thinking of this really hurts. i was so naive.. thinking i had friends family who actually cares about me as if that would ever happen. no one actually cared about me. everyone just used me for their own gain. now that i lost my usefulness. you all throw me away. my love for you just got shattered. its just too fragile. i wont love again. it hurts too much to. the icy knives just keeps plunging into my heart.