today is the day.
maybe ill end it or start it.
or let it continue as it is.
how i wish i could start it
this relationship right now sucks.
its a completely cold one.
we meet like what?
once a month?
i asked him out today.
maybe he will meet me or not.
if he doesnt,ill talk to him online then.
if i do meet him
well,i dont know how i will react to seeing him
after such a long break.
the last time i saw him in person was a month ago.
i wonder how it will feel for me.
no,i wonder how it would feel for him.
i think,
if it ends badly,
i wont hurt as bad.
i think im prepared for what might come out of this.
hopefully,i wont stop being prepared when i do get to see him.
wait,why am i hoping to see him?
i know he wont turn up.
he always doesnt.
i just dont get it.
why do i always keep hoping?
i cant do this.
the hope will get shattered.
i must not hope.
i need to be prepared for the worst.
because if i dont,
ill hurt him.
if i were to break down,
i wont be the only one hurting.
ill hurt him too.
so i have to stop hoping.
and just prepare for the worst.