argh....i feel so damn left out..all the time..
argh..just one tiny comment and i feel damn hurt.
seriously damn hurt.
i dont get it..
its like i cant live without them.
argh..i dont want to rely on people to be happy.
but i cant seem to be able to let go.
i seriously dont get it.
i thought i had formed my resolve to not let anyone hurt me anymore.
i think i was wrong.
just one tiny comment and i cant take it anymore.
i really dont get it.
i dont want any friends.
although they say they are my friends,close,best,sis,bros.
they do no shit for me.
all they do is say.
words are words.not actions.
even when you say you all care about me,those are just words.
plain words.
but this plain words gave me hope,layer upon layer of hope.
then with just one small comment and ignorance and all this is shattered.
i dont even have time to understand what had happen,
and the hurt comes even before i understood.
if it had been me before,it would only have stung.
but after all this people gave me hope,the hurt doesnt just sting,
it leaves me breathless and bleeding.
crying and angry.
i had belive all your words.
i thought my life had taken a turn,
i forgo all my promises to myself.
if only i hadnt,it would have saved me all this pain and hurt.
if only i had been left alone.
now,its over and the hurt is done.
and everyone leaves me there to bleed.
so you guys gave me hope just to see it getting shattered?
just so you can see me getting all hurt and laugh at it?
it may mean nothing to you,but to me,it meant alot.
stop trying to seem like a friend.
if you all seriously want to be my friend.please.
stop trying to act like you guys care.
if you all really care,then so be it.
dont act.i dropped my act a while ago.
actually hoping,hoping for a new life.
i stopped pretending,
thinking that the real me would stop me from feeling the sting.
but in the end,being myself,just brought me more hurt.
its doesnt sting,it bleeds.
please,i beg you,cant you all stop trying to act all caring?
if you dont care,please just stop.
i know i dont belong anywhere with you all,stop trying to act like i do.
take it as you are helping me.
you are helping me,by hurting me less.
just stop.
i dont want to hurt you all,but i cant take it anymore.
please,i dont want to cry or bleed anymore then i am now.
it hurts too much.i cant take it anymore.please.