An eternity of love;

profile

By yuukineko, shot with W910i at 2008-10-28
i'm15 going 16
next 13 nov.
Goes by the name of simin.
Ppl call me Yuuki
or Yuukineko.
Goes to CBSS.
cosplays
Loves Jubeat and Nx Pump It Up~
is anti-social
Hates being around people
unless is close close friends
Doesnt feel like being happy at all
****** *** **** *******

If you have to,which i hope you dont have to.
tan_simin2004@hotmail.com

Cosplay Characters
---Yuuki Kuran---
---Yuuki Cross---
---Rukia Kuchiki---
---Agito Wanijima---
---Akito Wanijima---
---Ciel Phantomhive[dress version]
---Amu Hinamori
---Amulet Heart
---Ritsuka Aoyagi
---Misaki Takahashi

Current groups
Kuroshitsuji team 2010
~~Vampire knight team 2009~~
~~Air gear team 2009~~
Upcomings~
Junjou romantica photoshoot
~~Vampire knight photoshoot~~
~~Air gear [ringo-akito/agito] photoshoot~~
~~Air gear [kaito-akito/agito] photoshoot~~
Planning~
Loveless photoshoot
Kuroshitsuji Photoshoot
Junjou romantica group 2010
Shugo chara team 2010

~Loves~
~*&%@#%^
~shopping!
~cosplay!!
~animes!!
~vampire knight!
~my dog.aki!
~cooking
~animals!!

~Hates~
#flirts
#act act ppls
#liars
#cheaters
#ppl hu make use of others
#backstabbers
#some certain ppls E.g ki tat.
[If You know him,please tell him i hate him.thanks^_^]
~Wishes~
~~To Be A Vampire!
~~~~Love~~
~~~~kisses and hugs...~~
~~~~yuuki cross costume..~~
~~~~rukia costume...~~
~~~~Rukia's real zanpakto!!~~
~~Agito/Akito wanijima ~~costume~~,~~wig~~ and ~~skates~~
~~Ciel phantomhive dress version costume
~~Amu hinamori school uniform
~~misaki and shinobu wig
~~Lotsa money to buy my cosplay...
~~my whole family to understand me and listen to me...
~~~~a brand new computer!~~
~~~~Samsung F480~~
~~~~a new new me....~~
~~new knife blade

Photos!

By yuukineko, shot with W595 at 2009-05-18

By yuukineko, shot with W910i at 2009-05-18

By yuukineko, shot with Canon DIGITAL IXUS 70 at 2009-05-18

By yuukineko, shot with FinePix F700 at 2009-05-18

By yuukineko, shot with Canon PowerShot A460 at 2009-05-18

By yuukineko, shot with W595 at 2009-05-18

By yuukineko at 2009-05-18

By yuukineko, shot with W595 at 2009-05-18

By yuukineko, shot with Canon PowerShot A460 at 2009-05-19

By yuukineko, shot with Canon DIGITAL IXUS 860 IS at 2009-05-21

By yuukineko at 2009-05-24

By yuukineko, shot with Canon PowerShot G2 at 2009-05-24

By yuukineko at 2009-05-24

By yuukineko, shot with PENTAX K20D at 2009-05-24

By yuukineko at 2009-05-24

By yuukineko, shot with Canon PowerShot G2 at 2009-05-24

By yuukineko at 2009-06-30

By yuukineko, shot with SGH-F480 at 2009-08-31

By yuukineko at 2009-08-31

By yuukineko at 2009-10-04

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Im gonna find a day
and crossdress.
and go out.
and be a guy for one day.
i wonder how it would feel like.
i shall....
do it one day.
once i get my hair cut.
and dyed.
and all the weird thingys.

i seriously hope you are happy.
its like you starve me,then leaves food hanging right out of my reach.
you.are.torturing.me.
you are starving me.
you are making me hungry.
dont ask me why the hell i want your blood.
i.dont.know.
shit.
i seriously dont know why it has to be you.
my throat doesnt burn when i smell blood like some crap in fiction books.
neither do i explode in the sun or melt or whatnots.
I.AM.NORMAL.LIKE.A.HUMAN
its just that i dont really like the sun.
but im ok with it.
i get hungry when i smell blood.or even think about it.
when i take my own blood,if its too little and i tasted my blood.
i do get a dry feeling in my throat.
crap.this sux.
oh btws,whoever is reading this.
fuck off if you think im crapping.
im just damn pissed over someone for telling me stuffs like this.
if you dont belive its not my prob.
just shut up and leave.
you belive what you want to and i belive what i want to.
simple.
argh.i am disgusted with myself..=.=....
and im pissed because of you damn it.
fuck.

i am sooooo pissed,confused,scared and sad.
man,how much emotion can i hold at one time?
shit this.
i seriously want to see him tomorrow.
but its like,i seem to know there is a 98% chance he wont turn up.
so of course im pissed.
hey,didnt we promise each other time together every week?
its like we are now meeting once a month.
fuck this.
im seriously confused over what you think.
we arent technically together.but we are going out.
then now,its like you treat me nothing more then a friend.
but you still get jealous at times.
i feel like you dont want me anymore but you are unwilling to let me go.
i seriously am confused.
do you still like me?
im scared of the answer.
no matter how brave a face i may put on for my friends and you.
i am really scared.
i wish to talk to you.over everything.
so its like..judgement day for me.
if you still want me,fine.
if you dont, we go our seperate ways.
but im really scared to lose you still.
i may not show it.
but i still have alot of feelings for you.
im just damn shy to tell you.
i wondered if we will go our own way,
if we do,
it will feel like another part of me got ripped out.
i know it will heal.
but now,it hurts even to think this way.
it will hurt even more when it really does happen.

i seriously dont know what to do.
damn,i still need you.
but you dont seem to need me anymore.
damn it.
im the only one then?

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

seriously...what should i do??
ask you out and talk?
maybe if we seriously talk,maybe, we can either go on on our own or carry on together.
should i do that?
im really getting confused.
i dont know what to do anymore.
im lost.
i dont know who is who anymore.

haiz..today got health check up at school...but then..half way through...the nurse asked me if i BROKE MY VOICE...
what the hell...=.=..
when did i ever break my voice..
actually got la..once..>.<
damn stupid..got fever...that day after lion went home from my place..then i got fever=.=..
then i went to school with a voice that was so freaking low....
sooooo damn low.....i dont know who to compare it to..x.x...
can ask rhyn..aka gin....aka chicken little...XD
lols..then just now after my nice afternoon nap..i went to arcade with rhyn and akira...
hahax..then saw someone i dont want to see.lalalas~~XD
then then the three of us went to eat mac...
we were talking about alot of stupid things...and taking pics of akira to compare with lion..XP
its like...twins..XD
then i stepped...on a ....roach....DX...
then then...we went home..rhyn pei me home liao..then then like that lor...x.x

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

how i wish,
to tell you this.
'my dearest,could i be selfish just this once,
and ask you to be mine and only mine for once.
just once.'
how i wish,i could be selfish.
right now,i cant.not over you.
i always give in.i cant hold my own.
whenever i want to meet you.you wont come to find me.
but i told myself you are just busy.
its not that you dont want to see me.
but you dont know how much i wish i could grab hold of you.
and not let you go.
i want to have you all to myself.
even if it is just for a day.
i want to be myself in front of you.
i want you to tell me about yourself too
cant i be selfish for this once,and have you to myself for a day?
its been so long since i last saw you.
i hate the distance.
how i wish i can be selfish over you.
i want you to myself.

i seriously dont know anymore...
i dont get what you want anymore too.
do you still want me?
or are you sick of me already?
i dont understand you...
could you please tell me everything.
i want to know.
it is seriously very scary to walk with you this way.
without knowing anything at all.
its like walking in a place filled with bombs and not knowing when you will get killed by it.
i really cant take it.
but just like that path i'm walking,i cant find the courage to turn around
or choose another path.
i want to walk the path that you are on.
but it is scary and hurts alot to walk it.
i really really want to be the one who talks to you.
but i cant find the courage to.
i cant find the courage to tell you what im thinking.
because i dont want you to get hurt or what by my words.
so i kept to myself.
and instead,its hurting even more.
shit.
i am really lost.

Monday, April 27, 2009

oh my....i found someone..oh my....XD
who is like twin of lion..>.<..
they are alike till its scary..>.<
they talk alike..tone,words,phrase..all same de...
dress causal also alike...>.<
walk same...personality same...character also a little same...
actions also same..alot...
its scary la...DX.......
but hey..XD its super cool..XD
having a twin is nice..XD

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Fuck it.
just because i came home late...
my dad HAD to fight with the whole damn family.
he HAD to blame my mum.
HAD to quarrel with the whole family.
had to make everyone so damn pissed at each other.
hey,what the fuck?
arent you supposed to be the one who holds up the family when its on the verge of breaking?
dont give the excuse that its all because of me and mum that you cant quit smoking.
its because of YOURSELF
you get all fucking pissed off at nothing because you cant quit smoking.but why the fuck must you take it out on the family???
and i come home late every once in a while and you dont say anything at all.
why must you say something now??
you know why??
because you are fucking drunk.
it [isses me off to see you drinking.
you say you are pissed at mm for coming home late.at me as well.
but what about you?
you go drinking,go pub go singing with girls from the pub.
you come home in the most unearthly hour and you start fighting with all of us.
you start blaming us.but have you thought about yourself?
you can come home so late but i cant? mum cant??!
what kinda fucking reasoning is that?
hey,stop blaming others.
blame yourself,dad.
i dont even like my own family.
you dont even know how much i hate you all.
i tolerate all this because i know i cant live outside on my own.
if i can,i would have left a long time ago.
i dont want to put up with all this shit.
damn,you dont know how much i want to say FUCK OFF.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Im seriously having doubts...about you.
I dont know if you still care about me.
I wish to ask you, But i cant find the courage to.
I want to be demanding, selfish even.
Because i want you to myself and no one else.
How i wish to tell you not to talk to others,only talk to me.
Only show attention to me and no one else...
But i stopped myself from saying all this,
Because i know you wont like it.
I bet you dont know how jealous i get when you talk to other girls.
I get so jealous that i cant take it anymore,i feel like screaming at everyone.
Telling them to stop talking to you,to stop hogging all your attention.
Because i cant take it,i want your attention.
I want your love.
But i cant get it.
Do you still care about me?
Are you sick of me?
Do you still want me around?
Do you still love me?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Happy Happy....:D
someone special asked me to cheer upp^-^
lalalas~
Happy Happy~
i have people who care.^-^
Happy~~

Thursday, April 23, 2009

weee~~today.....~~~
Sucks
lessons were all jumbled up because tomorrow is speech day and the lesson we had today was like a mix of today and tomorrow's timetable. i got detention lehs..damn it..=.=...
Fuck la....

anyways..i went home..and fiona came over my house and we made pudding

nice right??!XD

you want eat??! =X

hahax.then while we were making..we erm..accidentally conjured up some..snot..and snot slugs..

disgusting right???
can you belive this is pudding before it goes in a cup??0.0....!!

the stupid pudding thingy froze on my finger..>.<

hahax...but the pudding turned out to be damn nice..=X

anyways..im pissed because of the damn detension...
fuck la...=.=

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

i seriously..dont feel like writing anymore.
i cant take it.
stupid dumb world.
stupid idiotic me.
why me...
i seriously should just kill myself.
fuck this damn world.

I welcome Death.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

now i got another dog...
it went into my school..and into my friend's class..and bit someone who happen to step on her tail..
now...she is taken away by spca..no choice..either i go get her tomorrow..or unlucky.i too late and she dies.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Dad just spent 2k...on a 42inch tv...
and he is considering getting me guitar hero world tour...with the console and all.
i am in shock right now.o.o...
but damn i still feel emo..=.=

i am pissed off
Shut up.
scram.
go away.
seriously...
i am pissed off.

i seriously don't trust you any more...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

cant you all see?
cant you all see that im in pain?
why must you all continue to hurt me?
can you all just let me be?
i thought that i had found friends.
but in the end,
its still the same...
im still being used.
i had once thought to myself,
even if i am being used,its better then being ignored and treated like i didnt exist.
but i was wrong.
i use to hate being ignored.
hated being a shadow.
i wanted to be who i really am.
i wanted to stop putting up an act.
i want people to accept me for who i really was.
and not who i was acting.
but,it seems being a shadow ,
was alot easier and less painful.
i regret trying to be myself around you all.
i regret letting go of my act.
i regret opening up myself to everyone.
i should have pulled the curtains closed.
should not have let any light come in.
now,the light come in thought the open window
and everything is no longer hidden in darkness.
it hurts so much.
i want to give up.

i really ...really want to give up.
i cant take it anymore.
cant you all just let me give up?
stop trying to care.
let me be.
i think i'll feel better then i am right now.
it hurts too much.
just let me give up.
i cant take it anymore.

Friday, April 17, 2009

argh....i feel so damn left out..all the time..
argh..just one tiny comment and i feel damn hurt.
seriously damn hurt.
i dont get it..
its like i cant live without them.
argh..i dont want to rely on people to be happy.
but i cant seem to be able to let go.
i seriously dont get it.
i thought i had formed my resolve to not let anyone hurt me anymore.
i think i was wrong.
just one tiny comment and i cant take it anymore.
i really dont get it.
i dont want any friends.
although they say they are my friends,close,best,sis,bros.
they do no shit for me.
all they do is say.
words are words.not actions.
even when you say you all care about me,those are just words.
plain words.
but this plain words gave me hope,layer upon layer of hope.
then with just one small comment and ignorance and all this is shattered.
i dont even have time to understand what had happen,
and the hurt comes even before i understood.
if it had been me before,it would only have stung.
but after all this people gave me hope,the hurt doesnt just sting,
it leaves me breathless and bleeding.
crying and angry.
i had belive all your words.
i thought my life had taken a turn,
i forgo all my promises to myself.
if only i hadnt,it would have saved me all this pain and hurt.
if only i had been left alone.
now,its over and the hurt is done.
and everyone leaves me there to bleed.
so you guys gave me hope just to see it getting shattered?
just so you can see me getting all hurt and laugh at it?
it may mean nothing to you,but to me,it meant alot.
stop trying to seem like a friend.
if you all seriously want to be my friend.please.
stop trying to act like you guys care.
if you all really care,then so be it.
dont act.i dropped my act a while ago.
actually hoping,hoping for a new life.
i stopped pretending,
thinking that the real me would stop me from feeling the sting.
but in the end,being myself,just brought me more hurt.
its doesnt sting,it bleeds.
please,i beg you,cant you all stop trying to act all caring?
if you dont care,please just stop.
i know i dont belong anywhere with you all,stop trying to act like i do.
take it as you are helping me.
you are helping me,by hurting me less.
just stop.
i dont want to hurt you all,but i cant take it anymore.
please,i dont want to cry or bleed anymore then i am now.
it hurts too much.i cant take it anymore.please.

Monday, April 13, 2009

damn..damn my wishful thinking...
it will never happen...
never...i was never favoured by anyone...
and i never will be noticed...
wishful thinking...
my own wishful thinking.

i want to be a vampire!
why cant i be one!
why must i stay as a dumb useless human?
why??!!!
i seriously dont want to be a human!
i think its just plain stupid!
i really dont want to!
why cant i just get over it!
why can i just be a vampire!
it will solve all my damn problems once and for all!
why?!
why leave me in between?!
why trap me in the middle?!
argh!!its worst then being on either side!
being right in the middle!argh!!!!!!!
why?!
damn this world.=.=...
it is so freaking hard..to live....
i dont want to be who i am right now!

Monday, April 06, 2009

wahaha..shugo chara..is funny..cute..and...still weird for me..o.0..
but i like the romance parts..XD
i support ikuto and amu!!!!
XD
the king..saysay so many many nice thingys...make amu all blush..then suddenly say likes her other self..in short NOT her but her alter personality..=.=
what the.....seriously..argh..ikuto is so much better..>.<
i cosplay shugo chara next year as well..T.T
i feel like my wallet is burning a GIGANTIC hole...T.T
Agito costume pay liao havent come..Wig paid $20..but it got delayed..=.=
so i have no freaking idea how much to save for it..maybe 50bucks?
so now minus my 50..im left with NONE.
i need buy my ciel phantomhive costume.which is another 200...
then shugo chara costume..ANOTHER 138+70=208...=.=...
why must she hold such a complicated pouch?!
argh..i think i spend thousands of dollars on cosplay liao la...expecially on the scythe..argh..
MONEY FLY FLY~

Friday, April 03, 2009

i just started watching shugo chara today..
hmmx...right now im waiting for episode 3 to load..DX
haiz..it..erm....reminds me of pretty cure...i think...it erm..
is very...cute.>.<
its like the first anime i watch..unless you count pretty cure.o.0..does one episode of it count as watching?
its about guardian charas.and this girl amu who hides her real personality.
sort of remind me of myself...hmmx..o.o...
then the eggs cracks and there are the guardians and they sort of help amu be who she really is.
is quite cool la..but..its like..so weird..im used to watching emo romance etc. anime le..
like kuroshitsuji junjou romantica blood + and etc.
so yea..is weird to watch something so cute....o.0..?
but is nice..shall continue watching...
but there are..70 or 80 over episodes..DX

Thursday, April 02, 2009

watch this NOW....!XD
spend 5 min watching this..! its worth it!XD

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

yeahs~~ i found another two more of my photos..!XD
bwahahaha...XD
toady went arcade..play..
okok la..
but the best thing is i met yanwei today!XD
oh my gawd! thats was so unexpected!
i do love him so!XP
although he got all emo and i dont know why...
my friend[not gonna say who] told me a piece of her mind.
and i totally spilled the beans to yanwei.i told him everything..DX
oh gawd...i seriously babble all!
he seemed happier a little?
a tiny tiny bit..XD