since u said all this..i guess..now u no longer hav feeling for me..if tts the case..pls tell me.dun let me stand alone in the dark..i wana learn.i dunwan to b scared n terrified alone here...its reali scary.im sry tt i lied to u.i nver did hav any bf in the past.i treat them as reali close frens.u r my 1st bf.i m reali sry..mayb i didnt live up to ur standard of a gf.mayb i jus dun gt wat u expect me to do.im terribly sry bout tt.mayb i m suppose to kiss u n i didnt.mayb i shuld b more helpful.mayb i shuld do watever u had told me to.mayb i m supposed to do special things for u.i duno wat i was expected to do for u..i m reali reali sry if i did nt do wat u wanted.i nver thought tt i was worth ur attention.wasnt worth for u to even b frends wit.yet i felt tt i cant do witout u.i strted to wan to noe u btr.the thing tt reali cant 4gt is tt u told me,the 1st time we chatted,tt u had a sad past.u told me tt ur ex didnt treat u well.at tt time i tot to myself tt if i m worth his time,if he lets me b his fren or even closer,i wan to b able to make him 4gt all tis.the 1st time u asked me out,even though its jus to study,i could nt hav been happier.i was happier then i hav been in a long time.but i had nt knew y.i was willing to sacrifice all my time jus so tt i can c u,i gt into trouble wen i gt home.but i had nt care.even wen i gt kicked out of my hse.my oni thoughts was about u.i nver once thought tt if i gt into trouble bcoz i spent time wit u,i'll blame it on u.everytime things happen,even though i may say stuffs tt sounds vry much lyk me blaming u,i hav nver reali tink tt way.i can swear tis wit my blood my life n my soul.i tried my best to stay out of trouble,but trouble always found its way.wen u had to solve the problem.i always cried wen i'm alone.i didnt wan to cause u all tis.i felt guilty tt all tis had to happen to u,ther were so many times i wanted to jus let go of u.u had told me tt u lky some1 else,many times u said tis things to me,i wen home,thought about it,wanted to jus let u go and do wat u urself find happiness in,but in the end,b4 i m able to send tt msg,i always break down n cry.i jus cant seem to b able to let u go.i'm sry for being so selfish.i shuld hav let u go.no,i shuldnt even let myself into ur world.i wasnt fit to even b seen by u.its all my fault.but wen i had u,i was always proud to hav u as my bf.im sry to my close frens,i may hav gone overboard.i shuld hav tot of ur feelings,its was wrng of me to keep tellin u bout my bf.but to me stil u r the best guy.i noe tt i noe nt tt much of guys.but in tt 3 months we spent tgt,i felt tt u were the best.ur flaws dun seem to b flaws,they seem to b more of a cute n loveable thing.i learnt to accept it all in.n i found tt i love u for hu u r.i promised myself,i wil change hu i m,i wil change it all jus for u.every little thing u do for me,even if u jus took wast little time u hav to meet me,i felt happiness tt u stil cared bout me n i m stil loved by u.but i felt guilt in equal measures.guilt tt i caused u more trouble n inconvience.everytime aft i met u,i would always cry.being wit u,i was forever guilty.even though i wanted to c u in all the free time i had,i lied to u,i'm sry,i told u i ddint hav time.so i met u oni in the evenings web i had the whole day free.i jus cant bear tt guilt.wen u tell me tt other girls r pretty,i felt jeolous n sad.i wanted u to oni hav me as the one n oni girl in ur world.i'm sry for being so selfish.i learn to accept tt as well.i realise tt is part of wat make u u.n i cant control wat u say n do.in tt one month tt u were away,i cried eveynite.the pain of nt being able to c u was jus too much.sry to my parents hu saw me thru tis time.i caused u pain as well.sry.wen u came bac n i finally saw u,the hapiness was more then i could imagine.
now tt u no longer wan to rmb me,my world had stopped.its now worthless witout u.the happiness is no longer ther,but the guilt is.so is tt empty hole wher u had use to fill.i'm sry for trying to stop u goin out wit ur fren.i realise noe tt i;m jus being reali selfish.u r ur own person,i shuld nt hav done tt.i'm reali sry.i could nt keep tis all a secret.im reali sry.i m jus reali sry.reali sry.
if u took tt much time to read tis,i'll say sry to u again for making u waste ur time.if u reali dun love me anymore pls tell me.but no matter wat u say,i wil wait.i'm sry for stil wanting to b selfish n caring bout oni how i feel towards u.
